The Frivolous Diary of a Tuna-Fishy
by HiddenUnderneaththeUnderneath
Summary: Sawada Tsunayoshi is in desperate need of a psychiatrist, but absolutely refuses to go. His alternative? "A diary entry a day makes the therapist go away, Dame-Tsuna." "B-but how does a journal help- HHHIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" "Do as I say, Dame-Tsuna." Short, but sweet diary entries. Update every day :D. WARNING: Insanity may rampage over the diary.
1. Chapter 1

December 13th

I don't understand why I need a journal, much less a psychiatrist.

I'm a MAFIA boss for goodness sake, I deserve to not have to go have my sanity checked!

Though I do have to admit that a journal is better than a therapist in every way.

Have you seen them? They stare at me the whole time, and then they give me tons of problems that I'm sure I do not have! There is the fact that most, if not all, my therapists were female.

I'm sure Reborn will forget all about this by tomorrow.

...I hope.

Your hopeful author,

Sawada Tsunayoshi


	2. Chapter 2

December 15th

I had to rip out the page for the 14th, because Reborn got insanely mad for trying to ditch this journal and my paperwork, and ended up burning a page.

I think Reborn just wants me to face the wrath of paperwork.

After all, didn't he have to deal with this too?

Your suddenly curious author,

Sawada Tsunayoshi


	3. Chapter 3

December 16th

Christmas is just around the corner, and I have no idea how to deal with it. I mean, what if my friends don't like them? And every year, it's chaotic as heck, which leads me to the day after Christmas- tired, injured, but still doing paperwork.

I will someday beat you, paperwork!

But for now, I will try beating this journal.

Your determined author,

Sawada Tsunayoshi

**Yo, Tsuna! I never knew you had a diary!**

**-Takeshi**

_Juudaime! You shouldn't listen to Baseball-baka over here, it's perfectly fine to have a diary!_

_-Hayato_

...I appreciate the thought, but this is supposed to be a private journal.

-Tsuna

_Of course, Juudaime-sama!_

_-Hayato_

...*sigh*


	4. Chapter 4

December 17th

In 3 days, the Varia is coming.

In 2 days, Byakuran and his guardians, Yuni and her guardians, and Enma and his guardians are coming.

In 1 day, I need to prepare everything because I forgot all about it.

It is now 11:30 pm.

Save me now.

Tsunayoshi


	5. Chapter 5

December 18th

Finally finished getting ready for the others to come.

I was ready to take a nice nap, when Reborn came and peacefully reminded I had 10 stacks of paperwork to finish.

As always, the devil Reborn has impeccable timing.

Your irritated author,

Tsunayoshi

_You should've said devilishly handsome, Dame-Tsuna. I hope you're ready to play hide and seek._

_-Reborn_

Fuck.


	6. Chapter 6

December 19th

Ryohei- once again- attempted to make me join him for boxing.

And once again, I politely turned down his request.

I believe I have enough trouble on my hands with the amount of people coming.

Correction: The amount of people who can cause trouble, and ultimately give me paperwork.

And I just heard a gunshot coming from the other side of the mansion.

Your going-to-kill-someone- author,

Tsuna

_You must join... TO THE EXTREME!_

_-Ryohei TO THE EXTREME_


	7. Chapter 7

December 20th

Hehehehehe...

I think I know what I'm going to do today...

Hehehehehe...

The VOI gender-confused person...

The Son-of-a-Prince douche...

The Fake Magician...

The Baby of an arcobaleno...

The Waluigi ripoff...

The Gay Peacock...

And the Anger-management lion...

THEY WILL ALL DIEEEEEEEEEE!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

SUFFER UNDER THE WRATH!

_Byakuran and Yuni was here~_


	8. Chapter 8

December 21st

After the ruckus that was made by 8 individuals, they are currently entombed in a case of ice- and won't be coming out until December 24th. Unless someone frees them before time... Which no one can... except me... Hehehehehehehhehehehhe...

I'm glad Byakuran and Yuni don't give me as much paperwork as the Varia though. Just give Byakuran his marshmallows, and give Yuni a 3DS and a Pokémon game... and they're ready to go.

(Yes, I just broke the 4th wall)

Your devious author,

Tsuna

_Hand over the 3DS, Sawada Tuna-fishy, or you will suffer... SUFFER._

_-Yuni :)_

...- _ -''''' You may get one on Christmas, Yuni. Please don't knock over the Christmas tree this year.

-Tsuna (Who is NOT a tuna, much less a fish)

A/N- Don't own Yuni's character, which I borrowed from LeoInuyuka's 'Truth of the Sky'


	9. Chapter 9

December 22nd

Gah.

Just how much trouble can 4 families, and an assassination group cause?

Over 1 million euros of damage- at least- and a headache for the dear, old, boss.

Urk.

Not even a break for the leader...

Tsun_a_

_...Bossu, you fell asleep, so I finished your diary entry for the day..._

_- Kuromu_

Chrome... This isn't a diary, but thank you for finishing the a.


	10. Chapter 10

December 23rd

After Xanxus laughed about me having a diary on the 20th, which I corrected him- It's a journal, dammit! - Hibari attempted to bite me to death. Note how I said attempted.

He's frozen right now.

I'll wait a day or two to wake him up from his hibernation.

After all, most carnivores hibernate.

Your sleepy and smirking author,

Tsuna

_Hibari! Hibari! Frozen! Frozen! Revenge! Revenge~_

_-Hibird_

...Dafaq?

-Tsuna


	11. Chapter 11

December 24th

As I promised before, I released the Varia idiots.

They were much quieter when I released him, until Xanxus **magically** produced an empty wine glass, and threw it at my head, but it **magically** hit Squalo, and then I had to freeze them again for destroying the dungeons, which luckily didn't have anyone in them.

But my questions are how did Xanxus produce the wine glass? Was he drinking in the ice?

And is Squalo a wine glass magnet?

I have stole- I MEAN BORROWED Hibird to stalk them both,

FIND OUT TOMMOROW IF THE THEORIES STATED ABOVE ARE TRUE!

Tsuna, the Reality Show Host

_IS MY GIFT A 3DS AND ALL THE POKEMON GAMES? Tell me NOWWWW! Byakuran also asked if his gift was marshmallows._

-_Yuniique ;)_

...Shit. I forg- *epic inky mess* SHIT THIS IS INK!

-Tsuna, who is going shopping... at 7pm for 35 people and a couple of animals.


	12. Chapter 12

December 25th

Well, that was... sickening.

After sleeping for 2 hours, I was woken up by Hibird, attempting to scratch me.

He will never be able to do that...

Anyway, after I got up, I was late for the 'opening of the presents', so I dashed downstairs.

At that moment, I saw everyone opening their presents... and shouting all of a sudden.

Then, the presents exploded.

So now, I'm a detective, hunting down clues to the murdering of the presents.

Delightful, no?

Yuni says she wants to murder the person who exploded her 3DS, so she's stalking me... for now.

Surprisingly, my Hyper Intuition didn't respond to anything that early. I guess it works on dangerous situations...

And I've already solved a mystery! Now if only I could find this... person.

Yours Sleuthfully (Yes, I just made up a word),

Detective Tsuna _And Dr. Yuni!_


	13. Chapter 13

December 26th

Day 2 of the Case of the Missing Presents.

Today, I caught Lambo, The Waluigi Pedo, Daisy, Rauji, and Gamma hoarding all the presents- except 4.

I then froze their wrists together, and told them they'll last like this until they all have to leave the Vongola premises.

Turns out, they already knew what their present was- we were doing a 'Secret Santa' kind of thing- but didn't know where their Sky's presents were.

Byakuran and Xanxus has now joined the *scribblesscribbles* _Epic Awesome Spy Hunt (Yuni wuz here)_.

I'd say it would be a while before this case closes.

Meanwhile, there is a certain, melted, angry skylark who needs to release his anger on all the guardians 'for breaking the rules'. And on Christmas, no less.

Laughing manically,

Tsuna, X., **Byakuran,** _Yunni :D_


	14. Chapter 14

December 27th

The presentnapper has struck again. This time, leaving with a business card, with the message, "It'd be wise to invest in a robotic vacuum cleaner. It's filthy. - S.D.M."

Half of my clothes have disappeared after I read that.

I walked around in my pajamas the rest of the day, but in the middle of it all, a raging Xanxus, a psycotic Byakuran, and a flustered, but steaming Yuni joined me.

Someone is aiming for the skies, and I'm pretty sure it's someone we all know and love.

Not to mention when I looked online, I found my favorite jacket on Ebay. The highest bid so far? 2 million euros by a 'Miss-Sparkly-Flowers-Spring'.

The name itself makes me shudder.

Your Wary Author,

Tsuna

_I found my favorite Pikachu hat on Quibids for 1 million American dollars! Someone's going to pay..._

_- Yunifully, Yuni_

**My Marshmallow hat that I took one bite out of... Selling on Dealdash for 3 million Japanese Yen... My marshmallows...**

**- Byaku-tan**

Somepeople are obsessed... WAIT HOW DID YOU TWO GET IN HERE?

-Tsuna

**_Trash, underneath your chair..._**

**_-X._**


	15. Chapter 15

December 28th

Gah.

Turns out, there was a trapdoor underneath the carpet. Delightful.

So that's how everyone's been getting inside my room...

I've installed multiple video cameras in my room during the nighttime yesterday, and I went to sleep.

This morning, I went over them, and discovered a girl with black hair, and a black dress snooping around in my room!

The second she turned around to face the camera, I saw she had no face. It was smooth, and white, before black covered them.

...Creepy.

I discovered that she had taken my paper... But not just any paper...

The marriage offers papers...

...I'm not sure whether to think as my savior or my stalker...

Definitely creeped out,

Tsuna

_Tsuna-kuunnnnn~ Have my babies~ Or get strangled~_

_- S.D.M_

...Oh shit.

-Tsuna


	16. Chapter 16

December 29th

OH MY GOD.

MY STOMACH.

I THINK I JUST THREW UP IN MY MOUTH.

YOU KNOW S.D.M?

XANXUS, BYAKURAN, AND YUNI COMMENTED THAT THEIR FAVORITE FOODS (HALF-EATEN!) WERE STOLEN TODAY, with the only sign that a person stole it was S.D.M!

WHAT KIND OF CREEP/FANGIRL WOULD STEAL HALF-EATEN FOODS?

NOT TO MENTION- THE GUARDIANS CLOTHES WERE STOLEN, THIS TIME WITH MULTIPLE SIGNATURES.

ALSO- I LOOKED AT THE RECORDINGS FOR TODAY- THE WEIRD GIRL WAS HOLDING A KNIFE BEFORE COVERING UP THE CAMERA! WHAT THE HELL DID SHE DO?!

IT'S A CONSPRACY!

Besides, I have more things to worry about.

Xanxus commented on how the Varia were planning to make everyone play a certain video game.

It was called, "Slender".

... This frightens me. Greatly.

Hiding under a rock,

Tsuna

A/N: For those who enjoy spoilers, I've posted a Christmas chapter on my other story- Saikou


	17. Chapter 17

December 30th

Gah...

'Slender'...

I WILL DEFEAT YOU!...

Tired but vengeful,

Tsuna

_Juudaime! Keep on swimming!_

_-Hayato_

Thanks... Wait, you're done?!

-Tsuna

**I will not tolerate omnivores who cannot beat a herbivore-ish game.**

**-KH**

**_Kufufufu~ Such as the puppy and the skylark? Also, the Decimo has a diary? Fascinating._**

**_-M._**

I don't think you're done either, Mukuro. You'll be on paperwork duty while I finish.

-Tsuna

**_I don't believe I agreed to this._**

**_-M._**

Or you can tell me how to beat this game.

-Tsuna

**_Deal._**

**_-M._**


	18. Chapter 18

December 31st

In the end, I did my paperwork while watching Mukuro suffer- Slender-style.

I was laughing while doing my paperwork. It didn't seem so torturous this time- until I threw up over said paper.

Good news- I don't have to do it the next week, since my guardians -were forced to politely decided to work on their own paperwork, instead of giving it all to me.

Bad news- I'm sick over New Year's.

Speaking of New Year's, Reborn made everyone write down a resolution, and if he didn't like it, he would shoot said person. If the person didn't properly follow their resolution over the next year, he promised he would send us to the hospital for the rest of the year.

I'm screwed.

TsUNAAA

**_Dame-Tsuna's New Year's Resolution is to write in his diary all year. He must learn to keep his sanity in check, and to pour his feelings out in an inanimate object, hmm._**

**_- Reboyama-sensei_**

REBORN!

-Tsuna


	19. Chapter 19

January 1st

On the first day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ A lion cub for me to love and feed (And this diary...)~

_On the second day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ Two 3DSs and a lion cub for me to love and feed~_

_- Yuni_

**_On the third day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ A Tri-Ni-Sette, Two 3DSs, and a lion cub for DAME-TSUNA to love and feed~_**

**_- Reborn_**

**On the 4th day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, Two 3DSs, and a lion cub for me to love and feed~**

**- Takeshi**

**_On the 5th day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ 5 Earth Flamesssss~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, 2 3DSs, and a lion cub for me to love and feed (If it doesn't kill me first!)~_**

**_- Enma_**

**TBC**


	20. Chapter 20

January 2nd

_On the 6th day of New Year's, my marshmallowy true love gave to me~ 6 fucking large marshmallow castles, 5 Earth Flamesssssss (How is this relevant?!)~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, two 3DSs, and a lion cub for me to love and feed~_

_- Byaku-tan_

**On the 7th day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ 7 perfect peacocks, 6 f... (Byakuran! Not in front of the children!) large marshmallows, 5 Earth Flamesssssss~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, two 3DSs, and a lion cub for me to love and feed~**

**-Luss-nee**

**On the 8th day of New Year's, my true love (Lal...) gave to me~ 8 Arcobaleno ( Lal's included, kora!), 7 perfect peacocks, 6 fu**_(COLONELLO! *scribblescribble*)_** large marshmallows, 5 Earth Flamesssssss~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, two 3DSs, and a lion cub for me to love and feed~**

**- Colonello, kora!**

_On the 9th day of New Year's, my bloody true love gave to me, Ushishishi~ 9 annoying frogs __**(Sempai...You write like a girl...)**__,8 Arcobaleno, 7 bloody peacocks, 6 fucking large marshmallows, 5 Earth Flamesssssss~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, two 3DSs, and a lion cub for me to love and feed~_

_- Prince Belphegor_

** TBC**


	21. Chapter 21

January 3rd

(WARNING: Breaking the 4th Wall)

**_On the 10th day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ 10 useless princes, 9 magic frogs, 8 Arcobaleno, 7 perfect peacocks, 6 fucking large marshmallows, 5 Earth Flamesssssss~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, two 3DSs, and a lion cub for Sempai to love and feed~_**

**_- Fran_**

_On the 11th day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ 11 first place rankings, 10 useless princes, 9 annoying frogs, 8 Arcobaleno, 7 perfect peacocks, 6 world's largest marshmallows, 5 Earth Flamesssssss~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, two 3DSs, and a lion cub for me to love and feed~_

_- Fuuta_

**_O_****n ****_th_****e 12**th** d****_a_****y of N****_ew_**Ye**ar**_'s,_** my T****_s_****un**_a-_**kun gave **to m**e~ **12 Se**xy ****_Tsu_****nas, 11 fi**rs**t p**la**ce ra****_nkin_****gs, 10 u**_sel_**ess pri****_nc_****es, 9 an**no**ying f**_rog_**s, 8 A****_rc_****obaleno, 7 p**erfe**ct p****_eaco_****cks, **6 **fuc****_ki_****ng la**_rg_**e ma**rshma**ll**o**ws, 5 E****_a_****rth Fla**_mess_**sssss~ 4 ir**regul**ar swords, a ****_Tr_****i-Ni-Sette, **two 3**D**Ss, and** a lion **cub f**or Tsu ****_and I_**** to **love **and****_ feed_**

**- Sl****_e_****nd**e**r****_gi_****rl, f**_ut_**ure **wi**fe of T**_s_**u**_n_**a-ku**u**n**n**nn~**

On the 13th day of New Year's, my true love gave to me~ 13- Thank you all for reading, 12 sexy Tsunas, 11 first place rankings, 10 useless princes, 9 annoying frogs, 8 Arcobaleno, 7 perfect peacocks, 6 fucking large marshmallows, 5 Earth Flamesssssss~ 4 irregular swords, a Tri-Ni-Sette, two 3DSs, and a lion cub for me to love and feed~

- Moon /HiddenUnderneaththeUnderneath/ Author

...My diary has become a forum... And who's 'Moon' and 'Slendergirl'?

-Tsuna


	22. Chapter 22

January 4th

HEY EVERYONE! VIOLATE THE BOSS'S JOURNAL LATER PLEASE!

-Tsuna from January 2nd and 3rd

All the guests left today. I sent them off to the airport, Yuni and Byakuran wanted to take a picture with me, but before they did, they stuck cat ears and tail on me. They took a picture, then left, snickering and giggling all the while.

I forgot about the accessories, and ended up causing a roadblock in the airport.

Do you know how?

There was a stalker.

Then two.

Then 20.

And there's 30 more coming along.

And when I politely asked to stop, they glomped me, squealing how I was 'such a cute kitty!'

I'M NOT A CAT DAMMIT!

Vowing revenge on a marshmallow fanatic and a Pokémon maniac,

Tsuna


	23. Chapter 23

January 5th

Verde came in today, claiming he was going to 'improve' the 10-year-bazooka. Something about "breaking the laws of nature twice".

My hyper intuition acted up, and I prepared for the worst.

So far, there have been many explosions, many fires, and one flood.

Lambo, Hayato, Takeshi, and Chrome have evacuated to my office for safety.

If this gets worse, I probably will have to ask Reborn about Verde's project...

But I don't want him to find out about his fedora getting burned up by one of the explosions.

Knowing him, he'll shoot anything in sight.

Scared for my grim future,

Tsuna

_I have faith in you, Juudaime! Go to Reborn and save us all!_

- _Gokudera_

**_Lambo-sama will reward you with grape lollipops if you succeed!_**

**_- Lambo-sama_**


	24. Chapter 24

January 6th

Mukuro and Hibari reluctantly joined us in my office today. They were looking for Chrome, for some reason. (I sense loveeee~~~)

Anyway, they brought grave news- Verde was attempting to create a gender-changing bazooka.

He was also looking for test subjects.

From what I know of, the staff of the mansion ran out of the building after the first explosion, and I believe Reborn is still nowhere to be found.

Well, we're screwed.

Tsuna

* * *

My Death- Ver. 1 (\/\/\/\/=Darkness)

( 'o') -Reborn, where are you?

( 'o') -...Reborn? /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/(-.-)

( '.') /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\*Boom* -~(-.-)

(* *) -HIEEE! I DON'T WANT TO DIEEEE! /\/\/\/\-/\/\/\/\/(-.-)

* * *

...Sue me, I got bored...

_Juudaime, don't plan out your death when you're bored! That'll probably make Reborn send you to the psychiatrist!_

_-Hayato_

The question is... Where is Reborn?

-Tsuna


	25. Chapter 25

January 7th

After crying and screaming for hours for grape lollipops, Lambo was thrown out of my office by Mukuro.

We just sat around, attempting to devise a plan, when suddenly, a familiar, but feminine voice sounded outside the door-

"LAMBO-SAMA WANTS LOLLIPOPS!"

The thought of the voice makes me shudder, such a high-pitched, window-breaking voice...

Creeped,

Tsuna


	26. Chapter 26

January 8th

In order to get us food, Hayato left the office.

He hasn't been back in 4 hours.

I was hungry, and I found a jar of peanut butter and a pair of chopsticks in the bathroom. Claiming I needed to take a shower, I grabbed my towel and clothes, turned the water on, and started eating peanut butter.

After a minute, I was thirsty and took a drink of water.

Moral of the day: Do not drink anything after you've eaten some peanut butter.

Urgh... I think it expired too.

Your peanut-butter-eating author,

Tsuna


	27. Chapter 27

January 11th

Peanut Butter On Paper = Messed up Gunk

Anyway, I'm not sure how to say this but...

I'm a 5-year-old girl now? If I'm not hallucinating (please tell me I am).

I just saw a 5-year-old male Chrome... Yep, I'm hallucinating.

Your insane author,

Tsuna(ko?)...


	28. Chapter 28

January 12th

I haven't given up! I've been searching all over the internet and the library, along with my guardians. Fuuta suddenly appeared out of nowhere and showed us that he could help us with the ranking star!

I thanked him- er her and wished her a happy birthday. She looked disappointed and told us yesterday was her birthday.

Oops.

Your forgetful author

Tsuna(ko?)


	29. Chapter 29

January 13th

Eye am ritIng four Tsua becus s`he wUz" sot bi rebon. por Tsua. Eye fel gilty becus eye lAfed at Tsua. Tsua wood $lYke too say, she hats verd end rebon. aso, *scribble*

_I'm so sorry Juudaihime! The stupid cow wrote in pen and I can't erase it!_

_-Hayato_


	30. Chapter 30

January 14th

This is what I could decipher from Lambo's 'entry'.

I am writing for Tsuna because she was shot by Reborn. Poor Tsuna. I feel guilty because I laughed at Tsuna. Tsuna would like to say she hates Verde and Reborn, so *scribble*

...

I need to remind myself to actually educate Lambo, or send him to kindergarden again.

Your female planner,

Tsunako


	31. Chapter 31

January 15th

We are about to launch an attack today.

I am anxious for the result.

I have a sudden urge to draw out my diary entries from now until a undesignated period of time.

That may happen.

Anyway, our plan is simple, we confront Verde, Takeshi goes and steals the bazooka, and throws it at Verde. We then store it in my office, as a way to 'convince' some prisoners in the dungeon downstairs to spill the beans.

Your ingenious author,

Tsunako


	32. Chapter 32

January 16th

So.

..

...

...

The plan was successful and unsuccessful.

We distracted Verde, and Takeshi threw the bazooka.

The bazooka hit Verde, and turned him into a 5 year-old girl.

Problem: After suddenly malfunctioning after hitting Verde, it bounced out of the window, and into the river below.

Operation: Green Girl by Ryohei- Half Success

Remind me, who designed the mansion again?

Your facepalming author,

Tsunako


	33. Chapter 33

January 17th

After hours of interrogation, Verde snapped and told us the answer.

It was rather easy after we mentioned that he, er SHE was to be stuck in this for forever unless she told us the truth.

There was no cure to this unless we somehow got the bazooka back.

Though...

Verde mentioned he made an antidote that could cure anything, but only one, since the ingredients were extremely hard to find or make. He also forgot where he put it.

...

I'd rather wait it out. Let Verde fix all of her mistakes.

Still a girl, and will be one for awhile,

Tsunako


	34. Chapter 34

January 18th

I've just noticed.

I haven't seen Chrome ever since we cornered Verde.

... Suspicious.

Verde also told us he needed to make separate bazookas because he ran out of materials to make the gender-bending- turning-everyone-to-5-years-old bazooka.

...

Douche.

He just wants to experiment more.

Suspicious,

Tsunako


End file.
